My Childhood

How did you learn to read growing up? I remember how I learnt to read, it's probably one of the happiest memories from my childhood. My parents used to buy me this series of magazines that came with tapes. They were called Storyteller and the idea was that you read along in the magazine whilst hearing the tapes with the stories featured on them. You would follow along with the voice as they read the story/poem etc and pick up the intonation, the expression and all the rest. 

It is the reason that I was a fan of none other than Richard Briers as a primary school child (not many children were at the age of 8, but he did a cracking rendition of the Wind in the Willows). It is also the reason that the story for this week has been special to me my whole life. 

This story featured on one of the storyteller tapes. It centres on a boy with no parents and no name, who lives on the outskirts of a little village. He has a special stone which he uses to go fishing, for some mystical reason that he can't fathom, he only has to drop it into bit of water and if there are fish around, they are drawn to it. Because of this little trick though, and because they do not know him, the villagers are jealous and he has no friends. His life is spent feeling very lonely. 

This book is only 16 pages long, has no stand out complex use of language or breath taking plot devices, it is fairy simplistic and there is nothing that should stand it out. So why then is it so important to me that I would spend years searching and spend £20 (more than I've ever spent on any other book in my life) in order to get it? 

Simple, empathy. 

All my life I have felt like I've never fitted in, even when I've been part of a group I have also felt like the one on the outside of it. I would play the perfect 'third wheel'. I suppose I have just adapted to it over time. Would it surprise you to read that I have felt this way since the tender age of 8? 

Reading this story, hearing it read for the first time I remember connecting instantly to the main character. The boy with no name, invisible: alone. Ask anyone I know, they'll tell you, it is something I have struggled with all my life. But there's more than that, I think to an extent we all feel alone at times. Loneliness is the enemy, something we despise in spite of the fact that for us to grow, we must learn to be comfortable in being on our own.

At the age of 8 this book sent me a clear message, I will feel alone, but there is always hope that one day I will find a place where I belong. A place where I am accepted and loved for who I am and not just what I can do or bring to the table. But before I do that, I must first accept myself, I must stand up and acknowledge where I'm wrong, rejoice in where I've done right and be at peace with who I am. 

Why this massive journey of self discovery now? I found this book yesterday having thought it lost for nearly 2 years. I can honestly not describe how happy I was to find it once again. Two posts back I talked about being a fatalist, that things were meant for me at certain times in my life. If ever there was something to prove it, it was the discovery and rediscovery of this book. 

Book 23 of my 52 book list and a book from my childhood. 

Here's a link to a youtube video of the story in it's Storyteller format. 

The Fishing Stone Youtube

Book Title: The Fishing Stone
Author: Chaz Brenchley
Illustrator:  Graham K. Griffiths
Published: 1988
Suitable for: children aged 5 and up
Interesting words: huddled, compare, bulging

A Mid September's Moment of Madness

 On to my 4th post inside of a two week window. I'm certainly catching up, though I'm less confident with weekend plans looming that I'll catch up entirely. I can't complain now though, it will all be about how much I'm able to balance my life after this. It will be a challenge but I know in my heart if I apply myself, it can be done. 

I've chosen an easy book this time, after my last post I found myself mentally exhausted by the sheer depth of the text. So this time I've stretched the rules to allow for an all time favourite of mine. 

I've covered Shakespeare a couple of times in previous blog posts on account of the fact that I believe not enough is done to get primary school children into his legendary writing. This series of books is a classic example. I see tonnes of them in schools, but they very rarely get used. In fact, the copy I've just read is in pristine condition, which tells me it's never been touched. 

It would've been my mission (it might still be, covid allowing) to host an assembly, where we can act out a modern day retelling of this story. I even managed to cross theme it with Love Island, because frankly the story lends itself to that kind of 'blind date' she loves him/he loves someone else kind of theme. 

The story tells of 4 people in Athens who are caught in the most bizarre form of love square so to speak. Hermia loves Lysander but she's supposed to marry Demetrius (arranged marriage style). Helena loves Demetrius but he doesn't love her back. In fact he doesn't really love anyone. Out of pride Demetrius refuses to give up on marrying Hermia, so she and Lysander plan to run away through the nearby forest to freedom and a life together. 

Hermia's mistake is in telling Helena this, and Helena's mistake is in thinking that if she tells Demetrius, he'll be so heartbroken that he'll take her instead. And that is what leads to total carnage! 

Throw in a quarrell between the queen and the king of fairies (who I was once cast as due to my very masculine deep sounding voice) and  a man donkey and you have a recipe for a misadventure of epic proportions! 

Written by Andrew Matthews and beautifully illustrated by the renowned Tony Ross, this adaptation is wonderfully short, a mere 58 pages from start to finish. There are handy notes on the back about Shakespeare himself and his famous Globe Theatre (brilliantly described as a cross between a doughnut and a 50 pence piece). The language is easy to read but still throws in the occasional challenging word to keep readers on their toes. This book would be ideal for children from the age of 7 upwards. So why isn't it being used? 

I honestly don't know the answer to that one. Maybe the perception of Shakespeare today is outdated. Maybe we need to stop thinking that his works are only relatable to adults. At the end of the day children are shown things like Love Island at young ages (much to my chagrin). Why not expose them to more intelligent works of art that were once intended for grown ups? 

These adaptations are a brilliant way of introducing the legend to children so that, by the time they come to study him in high school (which is still pretty much compulsory) they are used to the themes and intricately woven plotlines. 

It is my dream to see my primary school and others, fully embracing the literary classics, hopefully one day that dream will come true. 

Book 22 out of 52 and my (adaptation of a) book that is over 100 years old. 

Title: A Midsummer Night's Dream
Author: Andrew Matthews (adapted from the work of William Shakespeare) 
Illustrator: Tony Ross
First published: 2001 (this adaptation anyway!) 
Suitable for:  children aged 7 and upwards
Interesting words: haughtily, accursed, idleness, mischievously, quarrelled

Too Close To The Bone

This is the first time where I feel like my abilities at both reading and writing will be put to the test. It is the first post I'll be writing not as an amateur blogger, but as a wannabe author. I am a fatalist, I get a thrill out of thinking that some things in my life happen because life meant them to: at that precise moment, at that precise point, for a reason. Like the two part Stephen King film franchise that culminated last year in me sharing the experience of my favourite horror story with my son, my partner and two of my closest friends... …all separately (yes that's right, I went to the cinema 4 times to watch the same film). 

My favourite horror story, one I discovered at the same age my son did. One that linked me to both my Godfather and real father very closely. How fitting that it ended the same year my Dad passed. 

Or how about this story? The one I've read this week? The one that has been sitting in my room for 3 years and just so happens to have been published in the year that my father and I had the biggest falling out ever. I refused to speak to him, even though at the time I knew he was terminally ill. We patched up our differences after a few months. And just when I felt we were rekindling something of a real father/daughter relationship, illness stole life from him and a father from me. What does that have to do with this week's story? Pretty much everything. I'll get to it shortly. 

I can recall picking up this book in a Waterstones. It was a 'treat me' day, go figure. I saw it at the top of the table, I love the way they put out piles of books face up on tables so you constantly get glimpses of lovely and intriguing covers. It's like going back in time to when I was at the pick n mix section before I worried about how contaminated the sweets might be. 

First time around, back in 2017 I tried it, but my heart wasn't in it. What did I know about losing a loved one or the grief? Frankly, knowing my Dad was ill meant that death wasn't something I wanted to think about. But neither did he. They say when people battle a terminal illness, that a battle is exactly what it is, but my Dad didn't battle it so much as run from it. He ran from it because he was scared, he was scared of dying. And though there have been times in my life where I've dwelt on death maybe a little more than I should, there's always one thing that keeps me grounded: I'm terrified of dying too. 

I count myself as fairly religious, but what if I'm wrong? What if death is it, just a cessation of life? If you're not ready to ask yourself those questions then do yourself a favour, don't pick up this book. Or better yet, do pick up this book and confront those fears, ask yourself those questions and start digging to the roots of your beliefs. 

The Land of Neverendings starts, as so many modern books do, with the death of a close family member. This time however, it is not the usual mother or father parlour trick, it just happens to be the older, disabled sister of the main character Emily. In the first chapter we are faced with the startling hammer blow of Holly's passing and the author paints it in such a way, that we know we are feeling real experience. 

"Emily had grown up saying 'My sister is disabled', and now she had to get used to saying 'My sister is dead.' " 

There it is, in one sentence you realise just how stark the change in poor Emily's life is. 

Just the level of Holly's physical needs (she has a special hospital bed in her room, a wheelchair and breathing apparatus) gives her character an extra dimension. As Emily attempts to come to terms with Holly's absence in her world, there is a real bag of mixed emotions. We see unparalleled grief and sadness mixed with an odd sort of liberation. At the end of the book for example we see that Emily is lead in the high school play, whilst she is sad that Holly isn't around, she is also happy that for the first time both her mother and father can attend, as in the past, one of them would have had to have stayed home to look after Holly. It is this mixed bag of emotions and thoughts that really struck a chord with me as I read it. 

The book is peppered with sprigs of beautiful language, most of which come out of the mouth of the character Ruth, an old lady who befriends Emily when her mum asks Ruth to babysit so she can go back out to work. Mum, who had been used to being at home when Holly was alive can no longer cope with being in an empty house for days on end. Something tells me Ruth would've made an excellent librarian. Instead she owns a second hand antiques shop, which is where a lot of the story takes place. 

For the first time ever, I won't give you a summary of the plot, because it's all about Emily's journey through the grieving cycle. The adventures she has are merely symptomatic of the real issue. This is where it resonated with me on such a personal level that I could swear I feel an echo right behind my ribcage! 

The climax of the story comes when we realise what Emily was really struggling with, she didn't get to say goodbye. It dwells on death, making us see the uncomfortable realities of different people's coping strategies. It covers the fear we all have of our loved ones fading from our memory. The way they sounded, the way they smelt, all those little nuances and bits that made them uniquely them. The bits we start to see vanishing after they leave us behind. It even leaves us with a message of hope at the end of the story, that the ones who go are gone are never forgotten. 

For a children's book, there are a few grown up references to be found. There's a piece on page 100 that will set the adults giggling which features inappropriate graffiti drawn on toys. And one reference to that self same adult horror novel with a red balloon that I clearly cannot name in this blog for the obvious reason that people will think I'm mad (see, it was meant for me). 

But the biggest impact it's had is that it's resonated with me on two major interlinked themes, loss and change. It feels like I've had a plaster ripped off a gaping wound that was only just starting to dry. Like Emily, I feel I was unable to get the chance to say goodbye. She even laments about the last time she saw Holly, wondering what would she have done if she'd known it would be the last time. I've had those exact same thoughts. 

The other theme, which for me is just as important, is the theme of general life changes. The first year of  high school can be a real struggle for children. Emily just so happens to be in that year, with a friend who she'd known all her primary school years who suddenly becomes a stranger to her. Part of that is about Holly's death, another part is just down to the social scene changing. It can hurt when a friend that you knew inside and out (or one you thought you knew) suddenly veers down a different path to yours. I'm in my forties and those experiences still happen to me so I know that from experience. In fact I felt much the same as Emily did through the early stages of this book in that regard. 

I was meant to pick up this book, not before my Dad's death, nor straight after; I was meant to pick it up now, when I had the solitary time to really digest it. To be able to reflect and think and share my feelings on it without holding back or worrying what people might think. 

It is probably why this post has taken me the best part of the day to write, and no matter what, to me it will probably be one of the best things I have ever written. 

Book 21 of my 52 book list and my book with an appealing cover.

Book Title: The Land of Neverendings
Author: Kate Saunders
Published: 2017
Suitable for: children 10 and upwards (due to certain phrases that might be inappropriate for younger readers) 
Interesting words: snide, beserk, threadbare, cavorting, deluge, mesmerising, mania, festooned, bonkers, rigmarole, disconcertingly, jauntily

Hope is rising

I'm not gonna lie here, I've suddenly tapped into a well of hope. Two books read in a matter of days, with seven more disposable days where I've only got me, myself and I for company. I'm now not only seeing a possible chance to catch up but potentially a chance to even get ahead! I think before I give myself eye strain of some kind I best bring my feet back to the ground.

Still I'm enjoying my new found enthusiasm and I can at least know that from here on out I've given it every acailable try, so no matter what the outcome, I've thrown everything at it from here on out. 

I stumbled across this when I desperately raided Liverpool's online library service. I literally did a sweep of children's books searching for an author who wasn't English. Believe it our not a great many of the children's literature works at the moment are by British authors. Anyway, I checked out the author, who is American with Mexican and Spanish roots and I thought, 'that counts'. The cover looked fairly interesting and at a grand total of 262 pages it really didn't feel like much of a challenge. That was me sold. 

The writing in this story is deceptively innocent, though the story is written in the omniscient third person, we are always seeing the story from the lead character's perspective, so the writing mirrors her youthful childishness. It is a complete ruse though, the complex language delicately placed in the text is like the gold thread carefully woven into a plain blanket. Of the books I've read this year it is the single biggest contributor in terms of words that can be discussed, looked up and interpreted. However, the youthful nature of the writing means that the complex words do not dominate, children as young as 7 could easily enjoy this book and get a lot out of it. So for that it already gets major kudos. 

The story starts a little generically, Esperanza, our lead character suffers a horrendous tragedy when one of her closest family members is killed (spoiler there). I'm going to create a separate post about this topic actually. My last post references the subject very briefly, but I need to have a more in depth rant and analysis of the topic of death in literature very soon. 

Anyway, coming back to Esperanza rising, the wonderfully different thing in this story is that, while important to her and all the characters around her, the death of her family member only serves as a footnote in the plot of the story. Her troubles start with the death but go on from there quite quickly. 

It tells the story of her families escape to America at the start of the 30's with their troubles in Mexico meaning they need to leave their lives behind with all haste.

It then centres on their lives in California's San Joaquin valley, working for a camp picking and growing various fruits and vegetables throughout a calendar year. The struggles of immigration, the great depression, the loss of everything that was once considered important, the real value of family and health, these are all major themes in the story. 

Esperanza and her family go from rich landowners to as poor as it gets and in the end it is their family of servants who they come to depend on as they adjust to life as Americans. One interesting historical topic that is covered here is the involuntary migration and 'repatriation' of Mexican people back to Mexico. Due to certain laws being passed at the end of the 20's officials in bordering American states were allowed to literally sweep up anyone who looked Mexican and throw them back across the border, whether they were born in Mexico or not. Many American citizens who had been born and raised in the US were suddenly sent to Mexico to live simply because of the colour of their skin. 

The estimates of people sent back were between half a million and a million people. They thought it would help solve the unemployment caused by the great depression, they were dead wrong. 

Funny how NINETY YEARS later, the real problem of financial disparity between the social classes is still the root of most of the world's injustices. 

It's like rich and poor are on opposite sides of a river, and that river seems to be widening to the extent where we can't even see each other. 

I've learned a lot from this book, I feel I really underestimated it in the first instance. I know the old adage of not judging a book by it's cover. I wonder if maybe I judged it simply because it had the big red Scholastic print on the front. Serves me right, I have definitely learnt something new or relearnt something I'd forgotten (HAHA). 

Book 20 of my 52 list and my book by an author from another country. On to the next book! 

Book Title: Esperanza Rising
Author: Pam Munoz Ryan
First published: 2000
Number of pages: 262 
Suitable for: children aged 7 and over. 
Interesting words: premonition, serenaded, congregate, capricious, monotonous, stagnant, bereft, recuperation, despondent, cacophony.

Down but not out yet.

 You could easily be forgiven for thinking that, what with me not having posted since the 4th of August and already being a week in arrears, I'd given up on the challenge for the second time. In fact, that was exactly my line of thought up until yesterday. I'd spent my summer, a grand total of 5 weeks off no less, having days out and days in, primarily spending as much time as possible with my loved ones. With the fear of the return to schools' new normals and the very dark cloud of future lockdown hovering in the distance, I sought to spend as much time as possible being active and enjoying myself: as a result I hardly engaged in the solitary act of reading at all. 

Every time I picked up a book and tried, there was always some sort of happy distraction. Like a magpie, I followed it as though it were a shiny trinket. I am not ashamed to say that reading was at the bottom of my list of priorities. With that came the grim responsibility in the September weeks that I might never be able to catch up with the posting to get back on track. Isn't it funny how life works? 

Isn't it also funny what two weeks of being stuck in a single room, unable to go out and interact with people at all, can do for you? 

I have had this book since it was first released in 2017. I'd been sauntering through my local Waterstones, looking to spend some hard earned vouchers when I came across it on one of their brightly displayed fiction tables. The fuss over it seemed to be big, it had an interesting cover and a good concept: I was sold. 

Three years (and all the stuff that came with it) later and I still hadn't sat down to read it. That was what I started to do in August. At a fairly harmless 240 pages it seemed like I'd get through it in no time, that was my big mistake. 

The story of Wed Wabbit centres on Fidge (why do main characters always have eccentric first names?) Fidge has a little toddler aged sister called Minnie, who is always lumbered with her beloved trop of teddies and toys. The most important of these is her Wed Wabbit, so called because Minnie can't yet pronounce the letter 'r'. Fidge hates Wed Wabbit and treats him and her own family members quite coldly at the start of the book (I won't tell you why... ...spoilers). But a devastating accident, caused partly by Fidge's irresponsible actions leads Minnie into hospital and Fidge into Minnie's make believe world of the Wimbley Woos. 

Fidge arrives in this sudden make believe land with her cousin Graham who has a phobia of just about everything. With the help of Graham's transitional object and Ella the talking elephant, they must save the land of the Wimbleys by confronting a certain fluffy tyrant with floppy ears. 

I found the characters of Fidge and Graham to be incredibly well rounded. There's a paragraph at the beginning where we see Fidge unable to return a hug from her own mother and in her inaction we see a heartbreaking element of her personality. Graham's fear of everything is the very real symbol of a culture of over diagnosis and 'wrapping children in cotton wool'. How he copes with it is the author's comment on the real world and how it should deal with the issue of sheltered children. 

The backstory was not so strong and I think that's what made the story hard to stick to. The cause of the breakdown in Fidge's relationship with her own family members has been written in many modern books before. I didn't feel for Fidge's, or Minnie's plight. It sounds harsh of me to say but I'm coming across a running theme in around two thirds of the stories I'm reading geared for children aged 8 - 14. 

It's the same thing almost every time and it's become the acceptable reason for any character's deep and unending struggle. I'll be writing a separate post about it at some stage as it's beginning to be a real bug bear. 

On the whole though, the writing style saved the story, I very nearly made this a blog post about the first book I read but didn't finish. But I'm pleased to say that having proper free time to myself and the perseverance to match the characters in this story, that I got it finished this morning. 

Here's hoping I can catch up and finish this challenge! Expect a flurry of posts as I get into some serious reading! 

Book 19 of my 52 books and I book that I owned, but up till now, never read. 

Title: Wed Wabbit 

Author: Lisa Evans 

First Published: 2017 

Pages: 242 

Suitable for: children 8 and upwards 

Interesting words: swivelled, clenched, requirement, appalling, pallid, listlessly, monochrome