Autism, how many of you know someone, or work with someone or love someone with autistic tendencies?
I bet the answer would be most of you. But like issues of depression, anxiety, mental illness as a whole; the problem surrounding autism is one of understanding and empathy. It's not that we as people lack any of the two traits (understanding and empathy-though some people really do). Instead, we rush to feel too much of it. We all identify heavily and say 'oh yeah, I have a bit of ocd, I can't see the colour purple mixed with brown'.
Or, this one is a personal favourite, I have depression, I get days where I just feel so sad.
Already I know I'm having an emotional response to what I'm typing, because I've had people try and empathise with what is very much a chemical imbalance going on in my body. But I don't judge people harshly for doing what they do, they're being friendly, trying to help me and letting me know that I'm not alone with troubles.
And let's face it, I dabble in the occasional bit of hypocrisy as much as the next 'normal' human; so I'd be a liar if I didn't try to show that kind of empathy to others without knowing much about their conditions.
My genuine concern is that being on the spectrum is a real thing, people really live with these chemical and neurological differences. But the more the outside world dilutes them, the more we cheapen them and make them harder to understand. And nowhere is that subject more diluted at the moment, than in the area of children's fiction.
Every other book I've picked up focuses on a character who's parents have died or who is different from everybody else. What's the biggest way of showing them up as different? Give them autistic tendencies or a special educational need: just so we can REALLY see how the world doesn't get how different they are at the start of the book but learns by the end of the book.
It has become mundane to me as an educator to continually read generically written books that are so similar in terms of character development and plot points, that I was able to start predicting endings, as if I had a crystal ball in hand.
So this week's book has been more of a struggle to write about than read. I shall start with a brief bit of history. I have since fallen back into reading children's books for pleasure as part of my role, this most of my close friends and family know. What many don't know is a gorgeous little book club on Twitter called Primary School Book Club used to encourage me to read at least one book a month. This doesn't sound like much but it was easy for me to fit into my blog schedule and the books covered often featured in my list of challenge topics so it was a clear win/win.
I got back to it at the start of May and I was delighted to see how much it had grown in popularity and audience. I had a proud - as - punch moment thinking that I was there from it's early days and now there were authors clamouring to be chosen as the next month's book.
This choice was one that had me scratching my head from the word go. I thought it was going to be the same as all the rest.
From the blurb and the snippets I'd managed to glean about the story's origins on the internet it was the sequel to the book 'Can You See Me' written by 12 year old Libby Scott and Rebecca Westcott. The main character, Tally, has Pathological Demand Avoidance and struggles when the basic freedoms of choice are taken away, or unexpected stresses are thrown at her. She has sensory issues on top of this which make loud noises, such as shouting a problem.
I am going to make an honest confession here both as an educator and a parent looking in from the outside. At the start of this story it was so hard for me not to judge! Maybe that shows that I really don't know the subject at all.
Tally's character came across as very unsympathetic to me, particularly because the first chunk of the story shows her interactions with her family and they are the ones that are the most extreme. So no matter how hard she tried to refer to her meltdowns as being something she couldn't help, I found myself feeling more for her parents and the constant eggshells they would have had to have trodden around her.
As the book progressed however, so did I. The mixture of third and first person perspective in the form narrative switched with a series of Tally's diary entries had me realising just how hard each struggle was. And she came out with very abrupt sayings at points that I actually found were just the things I'd say in her shoes as I've lacked a filter all my life. Does that mean I have autistic traits? Of course not, I wouldn't insult anyone who really had them by pretending I do. But it could help me empathise and therefore sympathise with her a little more.
The story follows her on a week long residential trip where she winds up finding everything going wrong from the start. The friend who she was supposed to be paired up with gets put somewhere else. The only teacher from her year who could really understand her issues winds up pulling out at the last minute and then, to add the icing on the cake she has to share a room with a bully, who in a way doesn't get enough pity for the fact that her parents really don't seem to care about her. Maybe there's something of a story there too.
Tally copes, as we all do when life throws curve balls our way. Her progress is painfully slow, but it is progress, and the innocence of the writing had me thinking more and more that I had judged her too harshly at the start. Her biggest fear, more than anything else in the world, is allowing her condition to hinder or embarrass her in front of others. It is that strength and pride that helps her through some of the toughest situations, that and a massive realisation at one point that really, doing what comes naturally to her is far more important than trying to fit in with the 'cool kids'.
I devoured this book, reading three quarters of it in just one day. I found Tally's transformation thoroughly refreshing: this was an angle I'd never seen before, one where the person with the personality traits was allowed to shine, rather than just having a babied image of her which was shaped, but perhaps not understood by the people around her. And though, I had a wavering moment where I thought it was going to end a little predictably, I was pleasantly surprised to see it sticking to it's guns of originality.
I want to hope I've grown with reading it, I will certainly think twice before being so quick to judge a book by it's topic again!
Book 7 of my 52 books and a book about personal growth.
Book Title: Do You Know Me
Authors: Libby Scott and Rebecca Westcott
Number of Pages: 368
First Published: 2020
Suitable for: children aged 8 and up (year 3 onwards)
Interesting words: taut, crepuscular, scintillating, abject